As you can see I haven't written in a while. Sadly, my father, Edward Bell, is terminally ill and I have been spending much of my time with him during these final months. Through all this he continues to teach me lessons on life. He truly is my mentor and my role model and I am taking in as much as I can while we still have time together.
What he has taught me in the almost five decades we have had together has been invaluable advice. Sadly, as with most children, much of it I have had to learn the hard way rather than heeding his words of wisdom. I pass this on in hopes that by sharing it others can benefit as I have.
Be prepared, then enjoy your life. Through these last several weeks I have been amazed at how well he has been prepared for this moment. My father has always been good at spending a little time as needed to properly take care of ALL of his business so that he could spend the majority of his time enjoying life. As the executor of his will I find I have little to do. Dad is well prepared, my mother is well provided for, and his wishes have been made known. Much of this was done years ago. As such, he is able to spend his time now enjoying his family, playing cards with his granddaughters, and doing whatever else he wants rather than obsessing over final details.
Do it right the first time. Dad always does things right the first time. Saves time. Saves money. Less stress and frustration. In his own way he has shown me that the satisfaction of doing something right the first time is extremely gratifying as well.
Save and Invest. My father has been an investor for as long as I can recall. He introduced me to investing early on and I have benefited as a result. He still reminds me to "make your money work for you."
You get what you pay for. This is one of those lessons I had to learn the hard way. Dad is not opposed to a good sale. He likes to save money as much as the next person. But he has always taught me that you should not be opposed to paying a fair price for things that matter. While he might not want to pay $4 for a cup of coffee at a fancy coffee shop he has no problem paying fair value for a great home in a nice neighborhood, quality furniture that will last for decades, or an education from good schools for his children that gave us opportunities we might not otherwise have been afforded.
Be optimistic and grateful. Another one that took a while for me to learn. Regardless of his circumstances, my father always was and remains an optimist. I never, ever, heard him complain. He took responsibility for his actions, made the most of his situation, and always looks for a solution rather than an excuse. Regardless of the situation. He battled cancer 30 years ago. Never once did I hear him ask "why me?" In fact, he remained a positive example to my sisters and I through it all. Whether the results were painful or desirable, he always handled what life threw his way and now, into his eighth decade of life, is the success he is today because of it. Even today, my father remains upbeat and encouraging to our family.
Patience, Encouragement, and Unconditional Love - Of all the lessons, there is none more important than this one. My parents have done a great job in raising two daughters and a son. Through it all we were shown great love and given much encouragement. I can't even count how many times I must have tested my father's patience during those years. I was, and remain, a bit hardheaded. Through it all he was always there for me, still teaching. I remember his words when he dropped me off at college, "If you get arrested, call me. I'll come bail you out. I won't be happy but I'll be there. I love you." I never had to make that call but just knowing that support was there meant everything to me. And as it turned out I was actually a pretty good kid that didn't get into trouble.
I will cherish his advice the rest of my life. Even now, not only does he teach me but I watch with pride at the love he shows for and the lessons he teaches to my daughters. I am grateful that he has been given the opportunity to be such a positive influence on them into their teens. His has been an incredibly loving and supportive father-in-law to my wife and a true example of a great husband to my mother.
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| Mentor. Role model. Hero. |
With that said, I'll share one last lesson. Don't wait. Don't end up looking back wishing you had spent more time with those you love. My father and I have always had a great relationship but with a 200 mile round trip between the two of us, busy schedules, kids' activities, and such, I have not spent as much time with him, in person, that I am now wishing I had. I wish I had not waited until now to tell him how much I appreciated all he has taught me. I wish I had not waited to let him now that he really is my mentor, my role model. That he really, truly is my hero. I am more determined than ever to live my life by the example he set in hopes that I can be the father, husband, grandfather, and man that he has been. Thank you, Dad. I love you.
More thoughts and ramblings on twitter @MattBellWrites
